Can You Trust Your Boyfriend When He Watches Porn Online?
This is a tough demand with a precisely tough answer. I will get out, right away, the definite denial answer: watching porn is a healthy issue for men and online sexual fantasy play falls into that area.
The rejoinder I have given you is used by men, and porn producers/promoters, all the time and because it is so often repeated population start to believe that it is correct. There have even been studies confirming this point of view.
But let me state precisely that the rejoinder above, that watching porn online is a natural issue for men, is a blatant lie that not only demeans women by allowing men to view women as nothing more than sexual objects, but it also is demeaning to men by asserting that men need an outlet other than a committed partner for sexual issue to be men.
Cheating, either straight through real-world encounters or online sexual fantasy, is cheating.
If you are in a connection where one of the persons does something that puts the other into a lower class, turns them into an object rather than a person, that would be an intolerable situation and a presume for breakup.
If your boyfriend turns to online porn to stimulate and satisfy his "sexual needs" then he has a change for you already. You are losing your identity as a woman and becoming part of a class of sexual objects.
Having the trust of sexual intimacy requires a commitment by both partners to be satisfied with each other and nothing more!
Certainly there is room for revising in the intimate areas of many couple's lives but that does not automatically include the use of porn as an outlet for satisfaction.
To rejoinder the initial demand I would say "No, you cannot trust a man that uses online porn and fantasy alongside being in a committed relationship".
As we have learned to define "committed relationship" as the total and perfect merging of two lives into one, we must also allow that what is good for one is good for both. And when the boyfriend is using his spare time to go "online trolling" for other female attentiveness and entertainment then this is an abuse of the connection and a stepping stone to larger intimacy problems.
Now there are also varying degrees of porn addiction: that which is done openly, with the assumed permission of his partner; and that which is done in secret, with the assumed objection of his partner.
While each of these uses of online porn is not mutually exclusive of the other, they do indicate varying degrees of acceptableness within the connection and the society to which you both belong. The previous is commonly used under the heading of "What's so bad about it" while reasoning for the latter is commonly "It's my secret, not yours" as a way of masking the use permissible.
If you wouldn't trust your boyfriend at a strip club why would you trust him when he invites the strip club into your home?
If you would allow your boyfriend to go to a strip club what type of comparisons to other women are you willing to accept?
What value do you put on your connection to allow such "freedoms" of abuse within your relationship?
Again, to sum up, I would not expect to be trusted if I had the sexual urges that needed to be fed straight through the sexualization and objectification of women.
Would you?
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